Haunting Me...

Why do you haunt me as if I'm no longer here? Why do you torment my mind with things I cant bear? Why am I here saying all these things to you, why can't I sleep without seeing you. You were there that night, and you didnt care, you thought it would be fun, a sport where nothing could go wrong. Something did go wrong that night didn't it now? I got away and now im safe and sound. A few scratches and a slight bruise to prove my tale, and you still out there instead of being locked away. Your two comrades, very helpful werent they? They were the ones that let me away, a few seconds faster with what they were supposed to do, if only they had gotten there to help you. You thought it would be easy, to sneak up on me like that, thought I wouldnt notice and it would be the end of that. I knew all along, I knew from the start, since I passed that complex and headed into the lot. I saw you following, with your buddies behind, trying not to seem obvious to the naked eye. You thought I wouldn't know, that I was just some foolish girl out late at night. I knew though can't you see? I saw you following and when you ran behind that tree. I knew something was wrong that night when I left work. My regular path, I did not take, making a mistake. I had a bad sense, a bad feeling. I headed off that way, going for a walk to cool down before returning home safe and sound. I had half an hour to go and knew I could make it, no sweat. But you showed up and things got out of hand. You think I didn't notice your footsteps behind me? The fear that came when I knew what you were up to? You pulled it off quite well, I must admit, I had very little option that night. Your timing was good and had me stopped dead in my tracks. If things had gone a different way, maybe you would've had your day, instead you will remember me as the one who got away. You thought I wouldn't guess, seeing you so close with the mask on. It covered your face, but I saw your eyes, two steps gone and then I knew I was had. Running wasn't an option, it was too late for that, fighting back I tried but you were so much stronger then I originally thought, struggling to escape, to buy some time, you thought you had me, down on the ground. I managed to move, managed to scream, and then what happened to you three? You ran away, all cowards once more, running away from what you had caused. I ran too, didn't you see? I ran the opposite way, away from you three. To go back there I still haven't done. My book was lost too, maybe you've seen it? You caused me to lose it or maybe you still keep it. I was a fool to be there and a fool to go back, nothing has changed in the daylight except that I see what happened now more clearly at day. I see that it was meant to happen to me. You had it planned, maybe not for me, maybe not specific but you had it planned.Yyou thought you could win and have your fun. I ruined your night now didn't I? I ruined your hopes and thoughts and made you lose what you had hoped for. I'm here now writing this and thinking back again. Not a day passes without these images filling my head. To those who dont know, those who don't see, I was attacked that night, the night last Wednesday. I was attacked by kids who thought they could handle me. I got away safely and sit here to write, to try to understand what I did wrong or what I did right. What they did has no excuse in the world today, what they did was an attempted rape. You think its easy being me now? Since I managed to escape and stand my ground? Its not as easy as you may think, these voices keep whispering in my head, these images keep returning day in and day out. Thinking of you and the thing you tried to do, I feel young, foolish and at times oh so blue. I will return to that place once more and not during the day, you were a coward and must be stopped. To those who would ever feel what I went through, or to end up not getting away and leaving there for good, I wish you luck, miracles and the promise that I will not let this stop. I will not let this hold me down. You think I'll never walk there again? You think I'll never do the things I did before? You have not ruined my life, you have taught me a lesson. I have survived something that I didnt think I would've. You changed my perspective on life once more and showed me the entrance to a new door. When looking back now and again I see, how stupid I was and how you thought you could be, the one to break, the one to hate, the one to be in the newspapers.

I have run out of things to say and thus must end another day. I am tired of the lies, I am tired of my life and I am tired of going through hell because of a punk. So people who read these and understand, stand strong and never repent, for everything happens for a reason and someday you might just see, how stupid you were and think back, just like me. We all sufffer the consequences of our actions, we deal with them every day. But a true person is one who bites the pain and bears it, making sure that noone can see the pain. I suffer a lot, and still have problems, walking alone will still haunt me. Your image is there, burned in memory. What happened that night is now etched in stone, it will not be forgotten and it will not change me. I will stay as I once was, strong and independant, seeing your face will remind me of the consequences. I will fight for my life as much as I can, and I will kill others who try to take that from me. My friends I protect, till the end of time, sacrificing my life to make theirs fine. I will do what I can and maybe then I'll see, how good life can be...